Your Family EQ.
book is created to strengthen family bonding through communication and
doing things together. It is
written not as another book to add to the parenting collection but the
hard work is the result of the author's response to the cry of parents who
are at a loss as to what they can say to their children other than
"school and homework!" (p. 4). Christabel is an Educator,
Counselling Psychologist and Learning Support Specialist with Students
Care Service and she has many years of experience working with parents,
youths and children. Lisabel,
the co-author, is her daughter. Hence,
the mother and daughter team is the testimony of a family who talks and
plays together and that adds credibility to what the book sets out to
achieve. The family of four is worshipping in a Methodist church in
book is designed with 52 learning activities.
Each learning activity is skillfully crafted to encompass the four
concepts of Tale, Talk, Think and Task purported to raise Family Emotional
Quotient (EQ). That is, helping members of the family to better handle
emotions by interacting and thinking through issues that are challenging
them to stay as a family.
Tale concept in each learning activity tells a story and the 52 tales are
built around the experiences of children and parents in their day-to-day
lifestyle. Mothers will be familiar enough to reenact those parent-child
conflict scenes when their daughters "disagreed completely" with
their "dress sense!" (pp. 125-126).
Or a father who had a terrible, hectic day at work found no relief
when he was "hit by a barrage of complaints about who hit who and who
disturbed who" the moment he entered the house (pp. 89-91). Rivalry
between siblings, breaking house rules and children who do not shoulder
their respective responsibilities in the housework also rank high in
encountering experience of tension in parenting. Can children be taught to
empathize with their parents?
tales speak of coping with the pressure of growing up in the home and in
the school environment. What
can parents do to help their children handle the emotions of facing
academic failures (pp. 83-85) or family breaking up (pp. 152-154)?
Children in the school are often confronted with the moral decision
of "Should I, or shouldn't I" when they are "prompted"
by peers to bully, to cheat in an examination or to lie to their parents.
What can parents do to give them lessons on balancing emotion and reason
in making decisions that lead to right choices?
It is helpful that these stories are written in the form of moral
dilemmas and each situation provides a good platform for role-playing,
role taking and discussion for the family.
need to be selective in using the stories that are appropriate to the age
range of their children. To
captivate and sustain the attention of younger children, "Damian, a
lost hedgehog from the zoo, is created and weaved into each story to keep
the children engaged and entertained" (Preface).
Talk component consists of questions focussed on involving the family to
discuss the issue related in the Tale.
The questions serve several functions.
They enable the participants to identify with the context and
feelings of the characters depicted in each story.
Through identification and talking through the questions, the
exercise hopes to promote self-awareness of knowing how one feels in that
"real" situation. Being aware and able to talk about emotions
without denying them or getting overly emotional, both parents and
children are learning to empathize with the feelings and emotions of each
other. The family bond can be strengthened when members put their heads
together to make decisions to respond to issues based on sound values.
Christian parents may use the questions as opportunities to interact and
inculcate in their children values that are true to the teachings of the
Scripture. The key word is
"interact" and not "react" with lectures!
questions serve as a guide and parents may have to adapt or rephrase to
involve younger children in the family discussion. The Think concept is
the third component in the learning activity that aims to encourage both
parents and children to reflect on what they can do to improve their
communication and relationship as a family.
Again, younger children need more assistance to make this relevant
to them. The final Task
consists of activities suggested by the authors for families to spend
quality time together to enable "family members to appreciate one
another, reinforce lessons learnt from the stories, or simply have fun as
a family" (p. 8).
book is also a valuable resource for parenting education and teaching
primary school children in the context of Christian education in the
church. The situations and moral dilemmas posed in the Tale can be adapted
for use in the church classrooms. With effective adaptations, they can be
used to link the unchangeable biblical principles to the changing
contemporary moral issues threatening the Christian family.
The family must remain strong and the book speaks of the sincere
intent of the authors to accomplish the dearly held value:
have put our hearts and souls to create this book especially for you and
your family to deepen your appreciation and understanding of one another.
We hope that through the use of this book, you will be able to weave a
strong tapestry of love in
your family that will give it the unity and strength to ride out any
storm, and to warm its heart on wintry days (Preface).
service on 13 April was led by Dr Aquila Lee. He spoke on the theme of
"the cost of following Jesus" based on the three sets of
dialogues between Jesus and three would-be-disciples (Luke
speaker on 27 April will be Mr Alan Goei.
you intent to join these classes, kindly register early by calling us at
6227-6815 or e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org